For those that have not read the internet recently, there has been a great sadness that has befallen my heart. No, it’s not Kayne West being a complete tool… He’s always been a tool, the guy never watches what comes out of his mouth. It’s the loss of the man known as Dalton, Patrick Swayze.

You are probably sitting at your internet enabled device and wondering, “Who is this ‘Dalton’ you speak of?” In 1989, a film came was released one that would fly under the radar, but would have a very strong impression on people such as Kevin Smith and Joey Snackpants. That film would be Road House!

Roadhouse, as cheesy of a film as it is, epitomizes the plight of the ‘short guy’. Between making the leading lady always lean on a pole or wall to the patented “Hillbilly Claw” attack, this film is pure bottled 100% awesome. For my complete take on the film, listen to the first episode of the infinitely delayed “Snacktime Online” Podcast (you may be lucky enough to find it somewhere). If not, the Kevin Smith commentary on the new Blu-Ray release is just about as good.

I have to say that Roadhouse had way too much influence on my thoughts of women taller than me, martial arts in the bayou, bouncers, blind guitar players, having a ‘decoy car’, sex against the wall, Sam Elliott, the power mullet and The Swayz himself.
Always remember “The Three Simple Rules” of being a bouncer:
1.) Never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected.
2.) Take it outside! Never start anything inside the bar, unless it’s absolutely necessary.
3.) Be nice.
Some people may remember that sissy Ghost film, or even more sissy Dirty Dancing, I like to remember him as the man known as Dalton. Next time you’re in Jasper, I’ll buy you a round at the Double Deuce!